everything is what you deserve and is also a type of bagel SCORE 19
you can die but your cat will always find a way to ask you for food at 3am SCORE 10
the one tool that makes it impossible to open your kitchen drawer every time SCORE 29
shoutout to that one person that listens SCORE 45
a baseball bat by any other name is just a hit stick SCORE 13
my kids thought this was a robot SCORE 15
no SCORE 23
if only they had slammed on the… oh nevermind SCORE 18
1882 us patent for a mousetrap SCORE 19
help, i woke up SCORE 32
muggle born SCORE 14
i lied when i told myself i wouldn’t think about it anymore SCORE 20
time travel tweet that aged well SCORE 39
the names boops. boops boops SCORE 17
turtles over tummy toning SCORE 34
Oh no, what have my ducks done now? SCORE 12
it has never been proven dinosaurs had administrative skills SCORE 12
the look of being bamboozled SCORE 24
friday is perfect for delivery SCORE 21
clumsy summoning circle SCORE 26
if you’re not planning your next meal ahead of time, what are you even doing with your life? SCORE 10
every sneeze is dangerous when you’re an adult SCORE 26
directions mean nothing to an amazon delivery person SCORE 12
how you feel after returning your shopping cart to the corral SCORE 10
a true work of art SCORE 13
bad guys don’t get noses SCORE 7
space facts on your back SCORE 37
the council has convened. SCORE 15
i just need 8-12 hours of alone time in the morning SCORE 27
texagons SCORE 23
rat snitch brian the good time ruiner strikes again SCORE 31
i am your coffee maker SCORE 13
