When you were blinded by the light, but seem to be doing OK now… SCORE 47
The word of the puppo SCORE 55
Mama no. SCORE 52
Never forget the true king SCORE 59
Advanced Twitter SCORE 116
A lobsters life for me! SCORE 43
Inconceivable. SCORE 57
The things we do for each other… SCORE 83
Funny not funny SCORE 55
Schrodinger’s Tupperware SCORE 48
Forbidden snack: The Banana Eel, named for its coloration and markings resembling a ripe banana SCORE 57
Welp. This is my life now. SCORE 39
What a short time to be alive SCORE 55
Every time. SCORE 37
Welcome! Our Kinder surrender checkpoints are your first stop, after which you are free to peruse our gun dispensaries… SCORE 72
Marilyn Monroe and Choochoo, ~1948 SCORE 48
Oh my lawd. SCORE 79
Self depracating life hacks. SCORE 95
I GUESS SCORE 45
The icon Target uses for onions at checkout SCORE 56
Can’t teach an old lady new friends. SCORE 77
Challenge accepted… SCORE 63
Walk and talk its. SCORE 73
+ cry. SCORE 118
Safe pupper SCORE 81
*smol crunches* SCORE 38
This is what happens when you park in front of a fire hydrant. SCORE 79
This is advanced homelessness SCORE 39
Exchanges with receipt only… SCORE 69
Easily the most underrated line. SCORE 47
Washer/dryer combo for sale SCORE 73
The life of a book. SCORE 74
