I wish I had these options. SCORE 17
"Look Daddy, I’m a unicorn!" SCORE 170
The holidays are coming. SCORE 169
I was mugged! SCORE 130
Disney princesses with beards. SCORE 127
Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions… SCORE 174
How is this possible? SCORE 277
Word! SCORE 20
Surprise bedtime. SCORE 169
Meanwhile in Canada… SCORE 178
How many more sessions doc? I’m not feeling any better. SCORE 13
I yawned! SCORE 10
When in doubt, lick the door… SCORE 244
Try not to cry. Cry a lot. SCORE 205
My feelings toward college. SCORE 158
I’m not great at advice… SCORE 213
Seriously, don’t ever tell a sad person about the less fortunate SCORE 258
50 Shades Of Doge SCORE 20
Because Reasons SCORE 224
Truth. SCORE 183
Pink Freud. SCORE 161
A legit reason for not doing your homework. SCORE 280
I love you more than… SCORE 122
Self checkout. SCORE 244
Wrong Show SCORE 192
I still teleport… after I’ve had one too many drinks. SCORE 197
Mark Twain on death. SCORE 150
At least I can find the area of a triangle. SCORE 195
What does Guy Fawkes Say? SCORE -3
BROFIST SCORE -2
Man accidentally sets wife on fire at gas station SCORE -6
I don’t want to smell those steams! SCORE 21