What I feel like saying to most girls on Tinder SCORE 55
Star Wars logic SCORE 64
It’s 2016, nothing surprises me any more. SCORE 88
At a bar in Portland SCORE 115
A dinosaur prop tied to a truck SCORE 118
Scaredy cat SCORE -23
My daughter is blind and for her ninth birthday party we made braille chocolate message slabs – I LOVE YOU and HAPPY BIRTHDAY in braille. SCORE 151
Every time I walk into a Best Buy… SCORE 93
Last Night I Had A Salad For Dinner SCORE 75
Never sink SCORE 146
The internet is a beautiful place SCORE 74
He’s bananas SCORE 206
I’m Really Bad At Portioning Uncooked Pasta SCORE 96
you taste like friendship SCORE 108
I’m a good cleaner SCORE 88
You should play the role of my father SCORE 145
WWJD? SCORE 96
Japanese Fallen Leaves Art SCORE 105
If It Makes You Feel Better, I’m The Pilot SCORE 62
I’ve always wondered this SCORE 87
When You Grow Up With Black Santa… SCORE 86
They know the truth. SCORE 78
Professor Jiggly Is Loose In Cat Room SCORE 111
Maybe my understanding of good is inaccurate SCORE -17
I won’t believe it till I see it. SCORE 83
Made from old circuit boards SCORE 112
Beautiful dogs SCORE 115
Don’t do it! SCORE 65
Sand Skiing In Peru SCORE 108
how the f**k do you spell that? SCORE 54
Just pineapple thoughts SCORE 52
he said, "why" SCORE 100
