The power of barking SCORE 18
How I view optimists, as a pessimist. SCORE 178
I like the sound you make when… SCORE 12
The future. SCORE 23
If Parks and Rec. characters were children’s books. SCORE 135
Found my shirt. SCORE 117
Louigi gets a tough break. SCORE 24
When you have a snake as a roommate. SCORE 207
I can never show my face around there again SCORE 9
How “no homo” sounds. SCORE 21
Non-essential organ support group. SCORE 222
Unlikely lines from a cosmetics commercial. SCORE 455
Never trust a toddler. SCORE 82
Shotgun vs. Rosa parks. SCORE 290
Mount Rainier, Washington SCORE 257
Complimentary air guitar. SCORE 10
Church of Rodel, Scotland SCORE 21
George R.R. Martin vs. J. K. Rowling. SCORE 22
Accurate. SCORE 146
When Tumblr gets deep. SCORE 441
Literally all I ever see on Facebook SCORE 16
Come on in, the water’s fine! SCORE -14
I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. SCORE 188
Only slightly creepy. SCORE -9
I can’t wait to see this in my grandkids history books! SCORE 207
The trouble with being Canadian. SCORE 327
King Cuddles. SCORE 8
Your cat hates you. SCORE 148
You just can’t trust an Oompa Loompa. SCORE 186
Soon. SCORE 8
Good Guy Dave. SCORE 461
Scumbag NSA. SCORE 395
