I can’t wait to see this in my grandkids history books! SCORE 207
I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. SCORE 188
The trouble with being Canadian. SCORE 326
When you have a snake as a roommate. SCORE 207
Complimentary air guitar. SCORE 10
Good Guy Dave. SCORE 461
Accurate. SCORE 146
Mount Rainier, Washington SCORE 256
The future. SCORE 22
You just can’t trust an Oompa Loompa. SCORE 186
I can never show my face around there again SCORE 9
George R.R. Martin vs. J. K. Rowling. SCORE 22
Come on in, the water’s fine! SCORE -14
Your cat hates you. SCORE 148
When Tumblr gets deep. SCORE 441
Non-essential organ support group. SCORE 221
Only slightly creepy. SCORE -9
If Parks and Rec. characters were children’s books. SCORE 135
Unlikely lines from a cosmetics commercial. SCORE 455
How “no homo” sounds. SCORE 21
Literally all I ever see on Facebook SCORE 16
I like the sound you make when… SCORE 12
King Cuddles. SCORE 8
Scumbag NSA. SCORE 395
How I view optimists, as a pessimist. SCORE 178
Found my shirt. SCORE 117
Church of Rodel, Scotland SCORE 21
Shotgun vs. Rosa parks. SCORE 291
Louigi gets a tough break. SCORE 24
Our nations finest quidditch players. SCORE 482
The power of barking SCORE 18
Soon. SCORE 8
