you can die but your cat will always find a way to ask you for food at 3am SCORE 10
the one tool that makes it impossible to open your kitchen drawer every time SCORE 29
i am your coffee maker SCORE 13
bad guys don’t get noses SCORE 7
shoutout to that one person that listens SCORE 45
a true work of art SCORE 13
marked safe from dishonor SCORE 9
terry pratchett understood all humans deserve to be treated fairly SCORE 32
i lied when i told myself i wouldn’t think about it anymore SCORE 20
there’s no time to explain, get in the pea SCORE 27
if you’re not planning your next meal ahead of time, what are you even doing with your life? SCORE 10
we have been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty SCORE 39
if only they had slammed on the… oh nevermind SCORE 18
how you feel after returning your shopping cart to the corral SCORE 10
the weezered of oz SCORE -2
muggle born SCORE 14
every sneeze is dangerous when you’re an adult SCORE 26
me watching you edit my google doc SCORE 14
turtles over tummy toning SCORE 34
if this doesn’t work i give up SCORE 12
Oh no, what have my ducks done now? SCORE 12
space facts on your back SCORE 37
my coffee is confused about how it feels this morning SCORE 4
no SCORE 23
rat snitch brian the good time ruiner strikes again SCORE 31
wishbone taught us all classic literature SCORE 35
directions mean nothing to an amazon delivery person SCORE 12
1882 us patent for a mousetrap SCORE 19
my kids thought this was a robot SCORE 15
i just need 8-12 hours of alone time in the morning SCORE 27
friday is perfect for delivery SCORE 21
a baseball bat by any other name is just a hit stick SCORE 13