make sure she knows your father material by texting “okay” and using the thumbs up emoji SCORE 17
marked safe from dishonor SCORE 9
when you’re walking down the cereal aisle and see yourself in the security monitor SCORE 16
buddhist heaven is called… SCORE 26
wishbone taught us all classic literature SCORE 35
checking on the banana bread SCORE 18
the one tool that makes it impossible to open your kitchen drawer every time SCORE 29
shoutout to that one person that listens SCORE 47
terry pratchett understood all humans deserve to be treated fairly SCORE 32
please just tell me what the book is about SCORE 35
are you getting enough sleep? SCORE 14
Angry laundry machine noises SCORE 19
every sneeze is dangerous when you’re an adult SCORE 26
terrible storytelling expert SCORE 33
children practice reading books to shelter dogs so they don’t feel alone SCORE 27
me watching you edit my google doc SCORE 14
ikea is grown up lego SCORE 22
if this doesn’t work i give up SCORE 12
and for no reason your life flashes before your eyes SCORE 29
dogs only care about one thing and it’s disgusting SCORE 21
i just need 8-12 hours of alone time in the morning SCORE 28
kids reminded this grown man that sometimes it’s healthy to just… act like a kid SCORE 87
we have been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty SCORE 39
don’t open the blinds while i watch my stories SCORE 15
he always wanted to get on a fire truck and finally built up the courage to ask SCORE 46
depressed dog wanted to stay on vacation SCORE 26
only using food, where do you live? SCORE 34
there’s no time to explain, get in the pea SCORE 27
happy dog before and after asking to go outside and play in the snow SCORE 31
a baseball bat by any other name is just a hit stick SCORE 13
the weezered of oz SCORE -2
cute winking cat SCORE 19
