Never trust a toddler. SCORE 82
I like the sound you make when… SCORE 12
Shotgun vs. Rosa parks. SCORE 290
Non-essential organ support group. SCORE 222
When you have a snake as a roommate. SCORE 207
The trouble with being Canadian. SCORE 327
Only slightly creepy. SCORE -9
Research doesn’t lie. SCORE 229
Unlikely lines from a cosmetics commercial. SCORE 455
I can’t wait to see this in my grandkids history books! SCORE 207
The future. SCORE 23
Accurate. SCORE 146
Your cat hates you. SCORE 148
Come on in, the water’s fine! SCORE -14
Good Guy Dave. SCORE 461
George R.R. Martin vs. J. K. Rowling. SCORE 22
One big gelatinous ooze. SCORE 402
Found my shirt. SCORE 117
The girl in our math problems. SCORE 546
If Parks and Rec. characters were children’s books. SCORE 135
Church of Rodel, Scotland SCORE 21
Why I don’t look out the window at night SCORE 193
The power of barking SCORE 18
I can’t hear you. SCORE 23
2pactopus SCORE 113
You just can’t trust an Oompa Loompa. SCORE 186
Literally all I ever see on Facebook SCORE 16
How I view optimists, as a pessimist. SCORE 178
Our nations finest quidditch players. SCORE 482
When Tumblr gets deep. SCORE 441
I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. SCORE 188
Complimentary air guitar. SCORE 10
