when you’re walking down the cereal aisle and see yourself in the security monitor SCORE 16
a baseball bat by any other name is just a hit stick SCORE 13
wishbone taught us all classic literature SCORE 35
if this doesn’t work i give up SCORE 12
how you feel after returning your shopping cart to the corral SCORE 10
i am your coffee maker SCORE 13
directions mean nothing to an amazon delivery person SCORE 12
we have been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty SCORE 39
the one tool that makes it impossible to open your kitchen drawer every time SCORE 29
buddhist heaven is called… SCORE 26
marked safe from dishonor SCORE 9
the weezered of oz SCORE -2
terry pratchett understood all humans deserve to be treated fairly SCORE 31
dogs only care about one thing and it’s disgusting SCORE 21
happy dog before and after asking to go outside and play in the snow SCORE 31
and for no reason your life flashes before your eyes SCORE 29
my coffee is confused about how it feels this morning SCORE 4
cute winking cat SCORE 19
me watching you edit my google doc SCORE 14
shoutout to that one person that listens SCORE 47
children practice reading books to shelter dogs so they don’t feel alone SCORE 27
don’t open the blinds while i watch my stories SCORE 15
ikea is grown up lego SCORE 22
turtles over tummy toning SCORE 34
rat snitch brian the good time ruiner strikes again SCORE 31
there’s no time to explain, get in the pea SCORE 27
kids reminded this grown man that sometimes it’s healthy to just… act like a kid SCORE 87
he always wanted to get on a fire truck and finally built up the courage to ask SCORE 46
every sneeze is dangerous when you’re an adult SCORE 26
make sure she knows your father material by texting “okay” and using the thumbs up emoji SCORE 17
depressed dog wanted to stay on vacation SCORE 26
i just need 8-12 hours of alone time in the morning SCORE 28